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wary

that bastard lies
So now that the Xmas season is grinding on, I feel compelled to once again point out that by engaging in our usual christmas traditions, you may inadvertently be supporting the onset of Totalitarianism. I wrote the following treatise in 2002 as a desperate attempt to alert the populace to the nascent dangers of Santa Claus and his jackbooted Reindeer thugs, but my efforts were clearly suppressed by the media establishment. Please take the time to familiarize yourself with this pamphlet, and pass it on. Freedom, after all, is in your hands.

Premise:
Santa Claus is and has been from the beginning a vessel through which a polity may condition it's citizenry to accept a police state regime.

YOU DOUBT ME?

Look at the facts. We start out with negative polemics and then follow-up with some classic nation-building rhetoric.

You'd better not shout;
You'd better not cry

1) This is a clear demand that the citizenry refrain, at all times, from any public protests or any public shows of discontent.

You'd better watch out;
I'm telling you why!

2) The implied threat of this verse is obvious; it clearly indicates severe and total repercussions for any sort of misbehaviour against the Party or Administration or whatever it's calling itself these days. Moreover, the lead-in to the next point - the direct threat - provides emphasis for the next verse.

Santa Claus is coming to town. (x 3)

3)While Santa Claus is conventionally a "Jolly Old Elf," our adult understanding allows us to determine that he does, in fact, represent a big brother entity of some kind. Although the exact connection may be unclear, we can reasonably determine that he is violent. But more on that later.

he's making a list and checking it twice
he's gonna find out who's naughty or nice

4) This is an undeniable reference to the following two central concepts of the classic police state;

a) A national database on all citizens, rigorously maintained and updated (hence the checking it twice) in order to record, in detail, citizen activities, and
b) Analysis routines advanced enough to discover revolutionary or 'un-patriotic' activity as it happens, if not before

Santa Claus is coming to town (x 3)

5) Once again, we have the implied threat of an omnipresent, omni-powerful entity known as Santa Claus. Whether this is really a code name for some sort of government agency, the figure of a powerful government potentate, or simply a fictional creation to manifest and represent the power of the state, it is, regardless, a powerful, frequently reinforced reminder of the consequences of disloyalty or deviance from party stricture

he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!


6) An even more detailed examination of the vaunted powers of the police state, it purports to instruct children to accept, via the santa claus legend and accompanying songs, that constant, ever-present citizen surveillance by the state is not only extant, active, and accurate, but moreover, a POSITIVE and DESIRABLE state of affairs. The assumption that bad behaviour is being watched, recorded, and will be swiftly acted upon is implicit in the statement.

oh, you better watch out, you better not cry
you better not pout, i'm telling you why


7) This is the major turning point in the propaganda, where the citizen's place in the world has been established and presumed acknowledged. Note the change in tone from verse 1; "You'd better not shout, you'd better not cry, you better watch out, I'm telling you why!" has been changed to "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why!".

a) The idea of shouting - that is, active protest or resistance - is no longer a factor in the equation. It has been completely eliminated as a political recourse for the citizenry (or citizen-to-be, in the case of children).
b) The idea of 'watching out,' a possible double entendre, has been promoted to the primary focus of the sentence, as opposed to when it occupied an anterior position in the verse. 'Watching out' could reference both the act of respecting the regime and the threat of force carried WITH the regime, or to the more active behaviour of being careful to notice the activities of OTHERS, which, of course, might prove disloyal or 'unpatriotic.'
c) The idea of 'you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout,' both represent passive forms of resistance to the regime. While such resistance is clearly discouraged (lest Santa Claus come to town), it is clearly preferable to shouting, which cannot be attempted under the pacified circumstances. The former, crying, represents grief, perhaps for the death of the past, while pouting represents a certain sullenness...but a sullenness perhaps ACCEPTING of the New Order. Thus, it's possible that pouting is placed in the anterior, as a lead-in to Santa Claus, in order to promote the idea of acceptance and collaboration with the Administration, as will be shown by the following verses.

Santa Claus is coming to town (x 3)

little tin horns, little toy drums
rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums

8) This militant verse begins to build the idea of a virtuous and victorious army in the citizen (or citizen to be), and to instill a certain pride in the citizen regarding the matter.

a) "little tin horns, little toy drums," is an obvious reference to military marches, military parades, and the proud, patriotic display of an organized, professional armed force. This is also typical of most police states, both historically and modern day, who use military marches, regular public displays of centralized power, and military parades to reinforce the authority of the ruling party.
b) "rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums,", more military terminology, refers quite obviously to the sounding of such wartime matters are air raid sirens, bomb whistles, as well as a lot of gunfire and artillery blasts. By glorifying war and promoting it's usage as a path to greatness, the regime reinforces the idea in the citizen that the regime is not only unassailable but MORALLY JUST. This further discourages dissent.


curly head dolls that coddle and coo
elephants, boats and kiddie cars too


9) These two lines appeal to the materialistic side of people, as well as traditional family values;

a) "curly head dolls that coddle and coo," obviously is aimed square at females and the traditional definition of the nuclear family. The nuclear family, as history frequently documents, is a central tenet around which authoritarian regimes base their power. The protection of "family" and "tradition" and "values" through means and methods that ultimately serve to usurp or contradict those same values is a common theme in absolutist states.
b) "elephants, boats and kiddie cars too," are references to more material prosperity, indicating world trade and exotic luxuries, such as ivory, as well as the ability to master and access all ends of the earth through transportation systems such as luxury cruise lines, battle ships, luxury automobiles, and the promise of all-pervasive leisure

"santa claus is coming to town (x 3)"


10) The imminent threat of Santa Claus now becomes associated with new, untold ages of bliss and well-being, which is a clear improvement over the old miseries of "pouting" and "crying." The arrival of Santa Claus ceases to be synonymous with the dissolution of the old state, but with the emergence of bounty, national power, and the good life

the kids in girl and boyland will have a jubilee
they're gonna build a toyland all around the christmas tree


11) This final verse completes the cycle of propaganda, the offer of the proverbial "carrot" after the earlier threat of the "stick." It promises a perfect society, free of all problems or discord, all under the glorious benevolence of the Christmas Tree, an obvious metaphor for the dominant symbols of any police state.

a) "the kids in girl and and boyland will have a jubilee." The citizens will rejoice! There will be festivals and cheering, national holidays, and general well-being once the party is fully installed and all resistance has not only been quelched, but the entire citizenry embraces the regime.
b)"They're gonna build a toyland all around the christmas tree!" This is CLEAR and SELF-EVIDENT nation-building rhetoric. When all the citizens work together to build a toyland (substitute homeland, fatherland, motherland, empire, republic, as you like it), centered and dependent on the glorious christmas tree, everything will be well.

"Santa claus is coming to town! (x 6)"

12) The extra repetitions of this verse, at the close of the song, reinforces the happiness and prosperity that the arrival of Santa Claus, the physical embodiment of the party, will bring.


Some further points to consider:

i) Santa Claus represents severe violence - He is dressed head to toe in red and fur. Clearly, this is a reference to blood and his prowess as a warrior, as he has clearly bested many fearsome beasts to construct for himself a suit made from skins.

ii) Santa Claus represents "justified" violence - Note that Santa Claus only ever punishes those who have done wrong. Those who misbehave - that is, engage in dissent against the administration - are punished with coal, a symbol for all sorts of possible horrors; be it vicious servitude in a state-run mine, cruel torture in the form of torment via fire, or even eternal perdition, as those who do not follow the party line will be cast out and damned to hell (which they deserve)

iii) Santa Claus is the spring from which all Good Things Flow - when children - citizens - respect the party's dictates and engage in party-endorsed activities, gifts and wealth are showered upon them. When the party's activities and dictates are rejected, only dreariness and misery can be expected.

iv) Locks are no Bar to Santa Claus - Santa Claus, being the pre-eminent representative of the state's power, is capable of penetrating all places; he sees all, knows all, and can go anywhere. Nowhere is safe. If the citizen engages in dissent and hides in his home, HE WILL ENTER THROUGH THE CHIMNEY. However, if the citizen behaves "properly," then Santa's watching and his forced entrance - through a necessary back door, as it were - will only bring good things.

v) Santa Has Advanced Weapons - Santa Claus , and thus the state, is further possessed of such incredible technology that the citizen has no HOPE of resistance; Santa, or the State, has the power to reach ALL Citizens EVERYWHERE, ANYWHERE on earth IN A SINGLE NIGHT. What resistance movement could HOPE to stand against such mobility when combined with his omnipresent intelligence network?

Furthermore, Santa Claus has allies of supernatural or at least super-technological origin; he has "reindeer" that fly him everywhere; add Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer to that and it's clear that Santa is possessed of air superiority, at the last, and with Rudolph, presumably, laser-guided weapons

vi) Santa is not a Man, but Something More - Santa, representing the state's power, lives in a mysterious palace that nobody can find in the most inhospitable climate on earth. Clearly, the state is capable of enduring and even thriving in adverse conditions, and is capable of using them as a defense.

Worse, Santa is surrounded by inferior subordinates; elves, which do his handiwork, but are effectively neutered (being all-male, by all accounts), so as not to procreate; unquestioningly loyal, so as to be incorruptible; and of small stature, so as to be easily crushed should they incur his wrath. This represents the executive of the state, which is central and dominant; the legislative branch, which is numerous but dependent solely upon the executive for it's power and works to serve the executive, and the citizenry, which is not a factor in rule of the nation.

And finally, Santa Claus and his elves are eternal; whereas man is temporary, and perishes. The state remains and is supreme, whereas man is small and weak and dies.

CONCLUSION:

Santa Claus and specifically "Santa Claus is coming to town" is a disturbing piece of propaganda that should be stricken from public debate before it further conditions the citizenry to enslave itself.

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